Sparrows.

I had a rough day yesterday; probably my worst so far. I threw up for the first time. I couldn't seem to stay sitting or standing for long and none of my food sat right. And I felt useless as a helpmeet to my Steven, as a mama to my babies. I woke this morning feeling very discouraged. More than discouraged. I woke up uncertain how to even face the day, knowing there are weeks of this ahead of me. Steve climbed back in bed with me at ten and laid his head on my shoulder, and told me to take it one day at a time, and to know that the good things--our sweet, hilarious children, our little house, sleeping side by side every night--outweigh the bad.

He was right of course, but still my soul felt weary.

Steve took Charlie to church and Gracie stayed home with me. After they left I brushed out her hair and admired the cute dimple in her elbow, and she asked me to read the scriptures to her. We are in Matthew chapter ten, and as I read this, one of my favorite scriptures, I cried.


29 Are not two sparrows sold for a farthing? and one of them shall not fall on the ground without your Father.

30 But the very hairs of your head are all numbered.

31 Fear ye not therefore, ye are of more value than many sparrows.


I read it again and cried again, and we talked about how sometimes we cry when we are happy.

Fear ye not therefore, ye are of more value than many sparrows.